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How can I be a Better Wife?

Margo Upson
By
Updated May 16, 2024
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A great way to improve a marriage is to try to be a better wife. It isn’t hard to be a better wife, and it is often worth it to put a little extra effort into a relationship to keep it strong. Being a better wife can have a great pay-off, improving your marriage and helping you to rediscover the spark enjoyed in the earlier stages of the relationship.

One of the best ways to be a better wife is to be conscientious of how you phrase requests. Don’t be a nag. State your request in a respectful way, and then let it go. Remember that your husband is an adult, and treat him as such. Asking nicely is a better way to get what you want, and it will leave him in a more pleasant mood and more receptive to future requests.

Another terrific way to become a better wife is to learn how to fight fairly. Slamming doors and name calling are not conducive to a strong relationship. Communication is an essential skill for married couples to have. Being able to voice your concerns and opinions in a mature way, and knowing that you are being heard and understood, is important for any relationship, but it is especially important in marriages.

Forgive and forget. This seems basic, but it can be very difficult to let go of a grudge, especially when you feel you have been wronged. Accept the apology, and move on. Everybody makes mistakes, sometimes bad ones. Harboring feelings of resentment is toxic for both your relationship and your happiness. Being a better wife may mean learning to be a better person.

In the beginning of a relationship, it is easy to be affectionate. Your worlds revolve around each other, and you hold hands everywhere you go. Kissing, hugging, and other loving touches are commonplace. As a relationship grows, the bonds between two people may get stronger, but the physical side of a relationship can begin to drag. Hold hands again, and be more open with affection. Hug and kiss your husband often, and let him know that you love him. Women aren’t the only ones that need to hear that they are cherished and appreciated. Increasing the level of affection you show is a wonderful way to be a better wife.

Another way to be a better wife is to give your husband time to himself. This means different things for different men. Some men would love time to go golfing. Others would love to have a chance to go out with the guys, have a couple hours of uninterrupted video game time, or just be able to watch a football game in peace. By granting your husband this time to himself, you will be showing him that you understand his needs, and that you care. In return, it might be easier for you to slip out for a few hours, leaving him to watch the children while you have some personal time of your own.

Marriages are a partnership. It takes two people to make a marriage work, and it takes two people to ruin it. By doing your best to be a better wife, you may inspire your husband to try a little harder, too. Giving yourselves the gift of a solid relationship is more than worth any extra effort it may require.

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Margo Upson
By Margo Upson
With a vast academic background that has ranged from psychology and culinary arts to criminal justice and education, Margo Upson brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise to her role as a WiseGEEK writer. Her wide-ranging interests and skill at diving into new topics make her articles informative, engaging, and valuable to readers seeking to expand their knowledge.

Discussion Comments

By googie98 — On Jan 15, 2011

@wesley91: My church has a women's group that meets once a week. We talk about things such as family and relationships. It's a great way to find out more about yourself and how you can be a better wife, mother, friend, etc.

There are also many "self-help" books available that would probably be very beneficial.

By CellMania — On Jan 12, 2011

@wesley91: You’ve made the first step by admitting you have a problem. Sometimes, that is the hardest thing to do. None of us really want to admit when he have done wrong.

We often praise our children or our pets when they have done something good. We often do not give that same courtesy to our spouses. Thank your husband often, even when he hasn’t even done anything in particular to be thanked for.

I am also a nagger. I usually feel horrible about it later. I show my husband that I really appreciate him and love him by doing “little things”. I put little notes in his lunch bag and sometimes will print out a picture of us together and tape it to his sandwich baggie. Silly, but he loves it!

By wesley91 — On Jan 11, 2011

I know that I have a huge problem nagging at my husband all of the time. Sometimes, I just do it for no reason. I guess it’s because he is the only one there for me to nag at. I surely don’t give him the praise that he deserves. I want to do better. Sometimes, my mouth just won’t seem to stop. Any ideas on how I can show him that he is appreciated?

Margo Upson

Margo Upson

With a vast academic background that has ranged from psychology and culinary arts to criminal justice and education, ...
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